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dear diahhreah.

so... Iapos;ve got this brother, see. And this brother of mine has got this dick, see. He wets said dick with this cooze.[cooze. Look it up. Thatapos;s her. In every sense of the word.] this cooze oozes into my apartment now and again and her presence is as welcoming as a needle in the dick. Perhaps iapos;ll tell her next time. Perhaps she has enough brains in that thick, and i do mean thick, skull to get the fucking hint.

iapos;m so affected, you guys. Iapos;m so much better than all of you because iapos;m so young and i wanna be young, dude. I wanna get a tiny portrait of johnathan davis tattooed on the inside of my left ass cheek. Iapos;m wise beyond my years. Years. Years. I know a good thing when i see it. Iapos;m a suck fish. Iapos;m all suction cups. All around.

letapos;s get one thing nice and sparkley. I am a man. Iapos;ve a phallus and iapos;m more than happy to lay it on the table. Nobody makes me out to be the asshole. Iapos;m no asshole, friends, iapos;m a dick. And dicks donapos;t get fucked. Dicks do the fucking. And thatapos;s what iapos;m here to do.

youapos;ve achieved nothing. But leave a stink of hippie twat on my couch. Youapos;re so convinced that everyone gives a flying shit about your little routine. Its very much a shame whats happening to my brother at the momment, but i believe its a good lesson to learn. Iapos;ve practically lost my brother to this... Thing. But iapos;m not bothered. It will pass. And all that will be left is a scab. A greasy, lazy, cunt of a scab. Print it out and show it to him. I really donapos;t care anymore. Imagine that, i was being nice these past weeks. Iapos;m sick of being nice and iapos;m sick of this running joke. Because thatapos;s what you are. A fucking bad joke. You. Are. Fucking. Clownapos;s. Shoes. But then again... Even clownapos;s shoes have character.

now if youapos;ll excuse me iapos;m gonna go get my priorities straight by quittinapos; my job, fall back on my studies, and smoke a bowl. I am wise beyond my years.

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Something really horrible happened to be. My senior year of high school got off to a really bad start. A very close friend of mine died on labor day in a car accident, she was only 17. She was the only person I knew who was as excited about graduation as I am.
Although I knew it wasnapos;t something to just "get over" or "forget about", I knew that I had to rise above it, and that she would want me to be happy and have a great senior year.

So I started to think that she passed for a good reason. I did alot of thinking and decided that it was actually for the better, even though it may hurt me, her other friends, and her family.

Through it all, I have made some really close friends, and I got an amazing boyfriend who treats me like gold.
Thatapos;s what Iapos;ve wanted for a long time.
I know itapos;s really sad and it sucks that someone so special had to die so I could become so close with these wonderful people, but all of us have learned a lesson, and now we know not to take anything for granted.

I miss her everyday, but things are going amazingly well for me. Despite the tragedy, my life has never been better.

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I got my refund last night�They are A+ in my book (Like the other store that got a bad rep... Goth Shop? They sold me their Spandex dresses... The sellers donapos;t speak great english) She didnapos;t get my refund emails (I went to junk mail... She wanted emails thru ebay, not direct to her addy) so she didnapos;t know I wanted the refund as opposed to a credit, or another color, so since she didnapos;t hear from me, she sent my refund. Sheapos;s really great�She even feels bad, so sheapos;s sending me a free CD (Iapos;m picky about music tho... But my b/f loves oddball new stuff)

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Up down, up down, binge, purge, starve ......... + iapos;m not even thin..........i need to find some happy medium where food and thoughts about being fat donapos;t fill my every waking minute........

i just want to be able to eat a bit more normally.........so instead of 400 cals one day and 2000+ another,maybe if i am realistic about this instead of being crazy.......

my RMR is around 1700cals so if i can set myself a limit of say 1500 ...... I can go much lower on days when i need to ......... But NEVER�over .........i can still have bad(ish) days within the limits and hopefully still lose slowly......... Maybe�i can finally stick to this and be ok......

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I woke up at 3:00 am and came out to the lobby to pray, read and work on a variety of things until the sun came up.� 5 hours of sleep is not bad, but I wish it was more.� Stef was able to sleep through everything and got his 11 hours last night.

Sam met us for breakfast and we went through the schedule for the week. We explored the coastal town of Tuticorin, met a few of the locals and took some photos.� Not us, them We swam in the Bay of Bengal when they brought grandpa to stand with us. They marveled at how white Stef was with the reflecting sun off his chest blinding their eyes. They were all smiles and laughs.

Soon we head off to the prayer meeting that kicks off our 2-day conference tomorrow. I will be calling them to purity and then we will call out to God to do the impossible with each person individually and corporately.

Our coordinator is Brother Paul Manickam and he has been working long hours for the past 2 months to put this together. Also, we are expecting a large contingent of youths, 17-20 year olds. They were not our targeted audience so already this is taking its own course and we are excited to meet everyone.

Paul has planned for 400-500 people over the next two days, but you can tell he is anxious to see if the people will come in force and be ready to learn.

So far everyone on team here is healthy, but we found out Luke, Stef's son, had his eardrums burst a day and a half ago, so please pray for Lindsay as she cares for him while they are in Colorado with her sister.

Thanks for your prayers

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I managed to get my kitchen cleaned up pretty well, but I have dinner dishes to go in the dishwasher after Meghan goes to bed. I still need to clean up in the bathroom, and I guess Iapos;ll wait until sheapos;s in bed to do that, too.

For dinner, I made chicken alfredo and served it with garlic bread and a Caesar Salad. I had wanted to do Fettucini with it as well, but I didnapos;t start the water boiling soon enough, so we just had it without the pasta.

Hereapos;s how I prepared the chicken breasts:

Coated them on both sides with a mixture of Italian breadcrumbs, a pinch of salt, and a pinch of black pepper. Then I pan-cooked them for 4 minutes on each side, and transfered them to an ungreased glass baking pan. I spooned some alfredo sauce on top of them, and then I sauteed a small amount of minced onion and garlic in the pan, and then spooned that over the chicken, which I then cooked in the oven for approx 15 mins @375 degrees.

It wasnapos;t bad at all, and I think it was okay without the pasta, but next time, Iapos;m going to include that.

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I forgot how much I liked that one Kasabian song, "ClubFoot" until NBC started playing it in all the commercials for their new Jekyll and Hyde-esque show starting Christian Slater.

I almost bought this album years back when they debuted, and then I found out it was full of copy protection that made it almost impossible to rip to mp3. So I said fuck it. And then listening to the album online or on iTunes, I realized the rest of it didnapos;t quite live up to the hit track.



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